How to Transform Your Relationship with Trauma
Trauma has a way of making us feel so alone and isolated. After we experience something so painful or tragic, it can feel like all we can do is be stuck inside of our trauma. How can we get out? How can anyone understand? However, the reality is that we can change the way we relate to our trauma. We can heal ourselves and we can heal our ability to relate to others. That is why I have brought on spiritual teacher and author, MaryJo Briggs Austin, on The Stress Less Show this week to share her story and provide a few great tips on how we can stop feeling stuck inside our trauma and transform ourselves for a happier and more joyful life.
Experiencing her own sexual abuse as a child and struggling with bulimia and other mental health issues, MaryJo started out her career as a sexual abuse investigator and soon found herself to possess a natural empathic ability.
“There was a natural connection and I knew that it had something to do with my intuitive ability”
As she began to feel unsatisfied with her work as a sexual abuse investigator, she was in a car accident that profoundly shifted something within her. She ended her career as a sexual abuse investigator and led her to attend and graduate from The Arthur Ford International Academy of Mediumship and The Institute of Integrative Nutrition.
After healing and working through her own trauma, she now has a Master’s Degree in Counseling and uses all of her training and abilities to help others take their trauma, grow from it and heal.
“We have traumas and tragedies and... it's a time for us to use that, tap into it and use it so we can experience more of what is out there for us.”
Through her work with her clients, MaryJo has a few tips that I am so glad she shared with me on the show this week about how we can transform our relationship with our trauma.
Tip #1: Trauma is a Turning Point
When we experience a trauma, amidst all the pain and sadness our brains begin to search for answers. We blame ourselves, we blame other people, we blame our circumstances. We view trauma as this devastating force in our lives that traps us in our hurt and it is natural to wonder why something like this could have happened. However, Mary Jo stresses that in order to change our relationship with our trauma and move forward, we have to first let go of the why.
“Don't ask why. Say what does this mean for my life? Because why doesn't matter. It'll keep you stuck. What does it mean for your life?”
When we reframe the way we reflect on our trauma in this way, we can use it as a tool to learn and grow. When we can look at the effect that traumatic events have had on our lives, we can also learn to release ourselves from the pain of the trauma as we connect deeper to who we are.
“We have to go deeper into who we are and who we were so that we can live in the present and enjoy everything that's out there.”
Tip #2: Connection is a Cure
Another key tip from MaryJo is that we need to connect to our trauma. Our brains often try to avoid or disassociate from our pain and trauma as a way to protect ourselves. However, avoiding our trauma only keeps us trapped by it.
“We need to connect more deeply into the trauma so that we can release it and it's scary, but we have to touch it.”
Connecting to our trauma and facing it head-on allows us to take back control over our feelings. We are no longer worrying about our pain, we are truly healing and letting go of it.
Tip #3: When you need a real miracle, Ask
Sometimes when we have gone through trauma and begun doing the hard work of healing from our experience, things can start to feel overwhelming. Investigating our feelings and finding a path through the pain can be difficult. That’s why MaryJo stresses the importance of asking the universe for what we need when we feel truly overwhelmed or stuck.
If you find yourself unsure of what you need, MaryJo recommends you, “Sit with yourself for maybe a minute or two or longer get present and say, ‘Okay, universe. Bring to me in my dream tonight what I need to see.’”
Dreams can be a valuable tool to help us understand ourselves and the world around us. By taking the time before bed to connect to yourself and set the intention of being open to what you need to hear, MaryJo has found with herself and her clients that the universe has a way of responding in kind.
“You should have a dream - a very powerful dream - that's going to shift your energy and give you some answers.”
If you are feeling monumentally stuck inside your trauma or pain, you can reach out to MaryJo here for a complimentary session with her to gain clarity and relief from your trauma.